Thursday, 28 January 2016

Diet Struggles & Binge Eating | Bikini Competitor

Last year at the end of April 2015 I decided to compete in my first ever fitness show on stage. I have shared blog posts on competing before so if you want to know more click here :-)

I have taken a very long time to get the hang of healthy eating. I have always been a huge fan of chocolate and like a lot of people, have a very big sweet tooth. I really let myself go after the competition in April. After 12 weeks of hard work exercising and eating to a strict diet I then ate myself silly after it was all over and that is something I do regret :/

When I started the diet I was doing ok with it. The first thing was valentines day, I did have some nice treat foods over that weekend as my (ex) boyfriend took me somewhere nice but I got back on it straight away! I think it was when it got to Easter time it then got hard and I worked signing people up to gym memberships. We had an offer on for people, if you bring in a chocolate egg you wouldn't need to pay a joining fee so our office was filling up with so much chocolate and it started to get hard for me. It didn't help when I worked with a girl who was just as bad as me with chocolate and we would both sit there talking about food all shift,lol

Toward the end of my diet, I think I was about a week from standing on stage. I went a bit crazy and this is something I never wanted to put out there as it was a bit embarrassing BUT ...I ended up eating bowls after bowls of this tropical granola I picked up from Asda and had that with some yogurt but as it was granola I felt like it wasn't too bad, all though I new really it was packed with sugars! It also went way over my macros and calories as that last week I was meant to be down to 1300 calories a day. I then in that same week had a break down and at 9pm one evening I went upstairs and got out the biggest Easter egg my mum bought me and scoffed the lot! It was a huge dairy milk egg with two massive bars of dairy milk included which I actually finished off the next day :/ I then felt as though because I had eaten one, may as well eat the I did! :/ All though I thought at the time 'it's only less than a week, i'm sure this eating make me fat that quick for show day' so I let the cravings over take. If you are someone who competes or eats and trains well you are probably shocked reading this! Or are you somebody who has done similar? let me know i'm not the only one? lol

The night before the show I had a Nandos for Lunch and a MacDonalds for dinner. It was also that day my friend brought chocolate raisins for us to snack on when waiting to go in for our spray tans! If you watch my youtube video's on my second channel or follow me on Twitter you may know that this was when my MASSIVE obsession with chocolate raisins started and I couldn't get enough of them. I was making stops at Sainsbury's almost daily (I say almost because I did try to stop myself going) I found they were the best from there and only 95p! Anyway whilst me and my friend sat there (the one I worked with in the office, her first time competing too) stuffing our faces with chocolate backstage at the show, i'd look over to see other competitors eating rice cakes with peanut butter or healthy protein bars, etc. but I just didn't care at the time, I thought oh well this chocolate isn't gonna make a difference to me standing on stage in a few hours! I felt as though I treated my last time competing as a temporary thing and in my mind just couldn't wait until it was over so I could eat what I want again! I didn't actually think I would be here training for it again! By the way, I also had to plan and weigh all my food myself and so kept my diet very repetitive as it was easier and the meals when I think back were quite boring, I would literally have eggs and salmon for breakfast EVERY morning! lol

After the show...omg! I went to the shops and bought literally everything I could! No veg touched my lips for months! lol I went on holiday after the show as well so I was loving the buffet food, especially the desserts. I even made a list on my phone of foods that I wanted to eat after the show, it was so long...(photo below) I was ticking things off as I ate them! I can share it now and laugh about it as this was last year and I am not so bad this time competing! :-)

wow! 3 pages of it, before I grabbed these images from my phone I forget how much I actually added! :-/ bad! As you can see though, I didn't get through everything...well either that or I lost track of ticks! This continued for might of been around September/October when I tried to include healthier meals again but I was finding it so hard and then the month of December I pigged out again, eating chocolate (A LOT of it) every day! (no exaggeration)

If you are looking to be healthy try and treat yourself once a week or something. But if you do pig out one day or me...then it's ok. You can always get back on track, it isn't the end of the world. Instead of feeling guilty, enjoy it and then get back on it the next day, as long as you are trying! I am already getting back in good shape again and my diet now is much more suited to what I like as I have chocolate included! Happy days! If you are competing, find a good coach with a diet that suits your needs. Don't feel like dieting means you have to cut out everything that you like. For competing it can be slightly more restrictive but then you just have to love it and know you are going to be rocking that body on stage! Be proud!

You can see my vlog of the fitness show here

Anyone else a chocoholic? or tried to diet and it's all gone wrong? I would love to know in the comments :-D

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