Thursday, 4 June 2015


Hi Everyone :-)

I hope your all well and enjoying the week! Grab a cuppa, this might be a long one,lol :-)

So i just got back from my weeks holiday in the sun yesterday and one of the things i was excited to do was to write a blog post :-)

I wanted to write a little bit about 'facing your fears'. Everybody has things that they are afraid of and most of the time fears stop us from trying new things and enjoying life to the full.

One of my fears are deep water, the ocean water and then all the things that are in the ocean and how far out it is, how deep it goes, etc

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When i was little i was never a good swimmer, i learnt in school but never tried to keep it up as i just never liked it much and never liked to go in the water. All i did if i went swimming was stay in the shallow ends with the fun slides and floats etc,lol

I must have been about 10 years old (i can't remember what age but i was quite young) i was swimming with my friend in the really big pool but we were in the part when i could touch the floor so i was ok. She then said about having a swimming race, i wasn't very good at swimming but i tried anyway. As we went along, i couldn't get very far bit i didn't realise that the floor had lowered and the water got deeper. As i stopped i started to sink and couldn't touch the floor, i started to panic and i couldn't breathe so i was splashing about frantically trying to call for my friend who was too far in front of me to notice. Luckily i wasn't too far from the side and i managed to grab it quickly before any life gaurds jumped in,lol (if they have noticed) i swallowed loads of water and i will always remember that day as it freaked me out and i hated water even more since then.

Going into water would stop me doing a lot of things through my life, things that i even liked the look of and could imagine being really fun to do BUT because of the water i would always say no and avoid it.

When i was about 11 years old i went on holiday with my family and my Mum and Grandma went into the ocean only up to about waist high, they were pleading me to join them, trying to assure me it was fine and once i get past the first bit it was clear water and you could see tiny little fish. Even tho that sounded really good i would tell them no and i would stay sitting on the beach where i felt safe.
Even in the pool of the hotel i would usually sit in my little floaty boat and never actually get into pool much to swim around.

I am 26 years old now and as i have got older and i have tried to face these fears. I haven't over come them completely but i have tried a lot of new things in maybe the past 3 years that i would have NEVER done before and i am so proud of myself for doing them. I have had some moments where i thought 'I CAN'T DO THIS' i would start finding it hard to breathe and then that would make me cry :-/ BUT i still tried again and i 'DID IT'

The ocean itself scares me these days. I am fine to go in swimming pools although i still don't like the deep end. I can do the breast stroke quite well now but still the thought of stopping then not being able to touch the floor scares me, that is something i still want to work on. I am not very good at treading in water either so that doesn't really help with my confidence.
But the ocean.....well.....that goes VERY DEEP and goes out for MILES...all the creatures in the ocean freak me out too so iv'e never been a fan to go in the sea at all! If i did go in i would need to see the floor and not go deeper than my waist! I also like to wear them jelly shoes in the water now so i don't step on anything that could be hiding under the sand :-)

I have always seen water sports and wanted to do them but being so scared of the ocean i never bothered. I went on holiday to the Domincan Republic last year and for the first time in my life i did snorkling. That is a HUGE deal for me, i panicked a lot and took me quite a few tries to get it right and to feel confident doing it. My boyfriend helped me to get through it. We practiced at the hotel beach and then we went on a boat trip and they went out in a group. The first time we all went out i couldn't go any further as i started to panic and was too slow to keep up so got frustrated and went back to the island. Sitting there i felt really annoyed at myself that i couldn't do it and all i kept doing was thinking the worst, what if this? what if that?
They all went out again with another group so i forced myself to try again........i did it! I went in water deeper than i couldn't stand on and saw loads of fish around the reefs, we swam like that for about 40 minutes and i was SO PROUD that i actually did it!!! The whole way round i was never 100% and did have my moments but i was out there doing it and i was so pleased i finally experienced it. I also was a bit slower than the group but my boyfriend made sure he stayed with me until the end :-)

I went on a catamaran over there too, i didn't like that so much. I was holding on for dear life, lol i didn't like it when you had to change sides, i felt like i was going to slip and fall off if i didn't grab hold of something quick enough!

When i wasn't posing with a smile for the camera, this is what i would look like! lol

I also went on a canoe. I refused to go on this the year before when me and my boyfriend went to Sweden. When we were in the Dominican though he persuaded me to do it so i pushed myself to try. I didn't like it as much again as there is not a lot to hold on too and i didn't like it when we would go too far from the land. My boyfriend was using the paddles and i was in front of him just trying to hold on,lol This and the catamaran, i am glad i did them but i was still really scared at times so i couldn't relax and enjoy it fully.

So just 2 days ago on my last day in Tunisia i went Parasailing which was probably my favourite as we started on the beach and lifted above the water before we even touched it :-) we also landed back on the beach. Once you are up for that it is fine and i really wish i took my camera to film and take photos but as it was my first time i was a little nervous and didn't really know what to expect.

I then went on a Jet Ski later that day. My boyfriend drove it and i was on the back. He paid for a trip out with 3 other jet skis and a speed boat. I always liked the look of going on a jet ski, however i didn't enjoy it as much! I screamed quite a bit in my boyfriends ear :-/ i was holding on so tight and hated it when we would bump over a big wave! My whole body ached too from tensing and being on it for so long before we got to land, we also did go out quite far from land so i tried so hard not to think about the water and just tried to focus on the speed boat ahead. I did panic a bit when i first got on, i really wanted to get off and because i new i couldn't i almost started crying i was so scared! About just over half way a few of the other girls got of there partners jet skis and sat in the speed boat, so i did too.

Well i think i will conclude my post here as i have written so much, i still feel i could keep going,lol I just want to say thank you so much if you have read this far.

What is your fear? Have your managed to over come it? and how? I want to try inspire all of you to go out there and face your fears. Even if it is a small step it means you have done something and each little step leads to bigger and better things :-)

Thanks so much for reading,

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